So you might’ve thought we’ve been slipping the past couple months with no new posts but we swear there’s a good fucking reason for the radio silence. We’ve been working our asses off on the book and now you can finally preorder your copy through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound, or Books-A-Million.
We know y’all have been patient and we really appreciate that shit. We’ve poured everything we can into this damn book and it’s taking some time to get that shit right. We didn’t want some half-ass book that looks like we just printed off a bunch of stuff from the site. Naw, we know you deserve better than that. So this book hits hard with 100 brand new, tasty as fuck recipes that are guaranteed to elevate your kitchen game.
Stay tuned for more updates, behind the scenes shit, and all kinds of previews as we get closer to unleashing this beast of a book.
The Thug Kitchen Cookbook is coming for you October 2014.
Expect that shit.
Starting to feel like ninety one thousand damn degrees outside? We got you. Chill the fuck out with a big ass cup of this tropical treat. All you need are five fucking ingredients and a blender. You should be able to handle that shit even if it feels like the world is melting.
PIÑA COLADA ICE CREAM
Makes about 1 ½ pints, enough for 2-3 sweaty motherfuckers
3 cups of frozen pineapple*
1 frozen banana, broken into chunks
1 ½ cups canned coconut milk
1 tablespoon liquid sweetener like agave or maple syrup, whatever you got
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
Throw everything in a blender and run that shit until it’s all smooth. Pour it into a loaf pan or similar shaped container and smooth it all around so it’s even. Don’t go freezing some uneven chunky bullshit and waste everybody’s time.
Cover and place in the motherfucking freezer until it is nice and solid, at least 5 hours depending on how shitty your freezer is. You know what the fuck you should do with ice cream after that. This is best eaten the first day or two after it’s made because it can get harder to scoop the longer it sits. But no doubt you or your roommates will get after it long before then.
*about one 16 ounce bag
I did not just drag and drop.
I did not just haul a burden so heavy
that my hands, arms, and shoulders
and I had to let it go.
Neither did I just browse.
I did not get on my hands and knees
and join the gentle cows
to slowly sample
whatever the open field had to offer.
Instead, I sat here at my desk
manipulating a mouse
which is not, in fact, a mouse
and I searched
for something on the web
that is not, in fact, a web.
And isn’t this how we move forward:
with horsepower for jet engines
and candlepower for light bulbs
we take what we understand from one era
what we don’t
in the next.